Music didn’t used to hold much draw for me. I enjoyed listening to it. I loved signing. But the lyrics never spoke to me until the last year.
Now I have a list of songs that speak to the heart of my experience, songs that call to me.
Songs like One Way Ticket, a song about breaking free and flying high. Or Miles, a song where you have to be paying attention to catch the heart break , the line that makes it speak to me “these are words I wish you’d said, but that’s not how it went, cause you gave up on us in the end.” You can wish and hope and dream, and in the end, you can’t force someone to hold on when they want to let go.You can be broken and in pain, and then you can get over it and rebuild your life, a lesson I soaked in for many months listening to Over You.
But what’s really calling at me, four days before I get on that plane, isn’t about moving past anything, it’s not about what could have been or what used to be. It’s about taking what I have, holding it tight, and saying It’s My Life.
I get to decide what’s next. I get to look at the paths I see in front of me, and I get to pick what comes next. I get to define “home” for myself, whether that’s searching the world, examining the mystery of it and finding home within myself, returning to my city and my friends, just stronger and more aware of what home means to me, or finding a new home somewhere, more sure of myself and who I am.
I can’t wait to start!