Christina Zastrow

The Long Way Home

I *can* do this

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Before I left for China the people on the peripheries of my life fell into two categories. Either they asked me why in the world I was planning on moving to China, or they told me that I wouldn’t be able to handle it and started listing the problems they thought I would encounter.

I love China. It speaks to my soul on a level I didn’t really know was possible. And yes, there are issues sometimes. I still don’t speak fantastic Mandarin and the internet in China is infuriating sometimes. But I love China. And I am capable.

That’s the thing. All these people thought that I couldn’t do this, that I needed support and… I don’t really know. That moving halfway around the world takes a certain kind of person, a certain kind of strength, and I just didn’t have that. But I can do this. I do do this. Every day I handle life here better than I handled the chaos and drama of my life in Chicago before I left.

So now I’m deciding what to do next and the more I think about it, the more I think I owe some thanks, at least of the spiritual sort, to the ex who left me homeless, unemployed, sick and injured a year ago. Because of him I found out what my friends really think of me, I know which people I actually want to be around, and I know, without a doubt, that I am capable. No matter what happens next, no one can take that away from me.

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Author: Christina Zastrow

Somewhere along my way through life, I managed to lose sight of myself. Then when my first long term relationship fell apart I found myself homeless, unemployed, and without family or support system. I decided it was time to find my way home, back to myself. This is my journey.

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